I have avoided this post for the longest but I cannot avoided any longer, as the post to follow will be of my actual 1 year old son. I may have to write a little at a time and let it sit, mainly because it's hard to type through tears.
I believe the most overwhelming part is the fact you are no longer nor will ever be again a "baby", I am not sure where to begin my story to you. I have struggled with where to begin and what to leave out and what not to leave out... (mainly WHAT to leave out.) So as a warning this may be completely out of order but the main thing to remember is it is all documented very perfectly in your baby book, scrapbook and pictures. Hold on because this has all the makings of being the longest post EVER.
The very first thing I recall about becoming pregnant were the days I would literally fall asleep at my desk, I mean yes I have always loved my sleep but this was different it was like something had taken over my body (which that "something" was you) and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I complained to my doctor, to which I was given every test a doctor could order from Mono to Strep and a sleep study was actually suggested. The ONE test they missed, however was the pregnancy test. This all transpired around December 2007 and I had actually taken a test because the thought had crossed my mind but it was negative.
The constant sleepiness seemed to only be satisfied by the weekends I would start sleeping on Friday's that your dad was traveling and it seemed like I didn't wake up until Sunday when he returned. Following this was my constant craving for Chili's Buffalo Fajitas, they were close to work and I'm not kidding. They were summoned 3 times a week, it started with me only being able to eat two and within a month I recall completing all 4 fajitas! Next came the flu like symptoms, to which I took Alkaselzer Cold and Flu (FREAKED me OUT once I had made a list of what I had taken within the last 3 months upon my Dr's request.) Finally, what pushed me to break down and get yet another pregnancy test was the day I got Chili's usual and could only eat the chips I couldn't even bare to look at the fajita's, I knew something wasn't right at that very moment.
I took a pregnancy test in March (4th to be exact) and that was the day our life would change forever. Your dad had no idea I was taking one, I didn't want to alarm him over nothing. But after I saw the plus sign I said to myself very quietly, "I'm Pregnant!" Your dad was on the phone with work and it seemed like I waited an eternity but once he finally hung up I showed him the test and said "your going to be a dad" and "we are going to be parents." We didn't know whether to laugh, cry, jump up and down.. (hm? can you jump up and down while your pregnant?) It's funny because the DAY after we found out was when my morning sickness began, which makes me wonder if it was all in my head :)
It was a Tuesday and I couldn't get an appointment with the Dr. until the next Wednesday and it seemed to never get here. When it did, the doctor had told us to expect our little bundle around November or early December. After about a week, I wasn't feeling right and we found ourselves back at the Dr. this time to make sure all was well he did an ultrasound. We were expecting to see a little peanut and we were blown away when we saw your little legs, arms, belly, everything. It was there and so perfect! We even found out you were going to be a boy, I was in fact 3-4months pregnant and you were coming in September. This was all within 2 weeks of finding out I was pregnant, in a way we were so lucky... we never had to wait and wonder.
I went from being perfectly normal, to not fitting in my clothes, to being HUGE and it all happened so fast. Quickly came the days that I would moan and groan, struggle with sleep, pray that you would get out from under my ribs and repeat the phrase "I just want him out, I cannot do this much longer."
August was the WORST... it was so hot and I was so close to delivery, I prayed every night that you would find your way out soon. The last visit to the Dr. I cried and I believe I threatened him with handcuffing myself to his table if he didn't get you out as soon as possible. I know I was making everyone around me miserable but I didn't care. The Dr. went quickly before he even checked YOUR progress to checked HIS schedule. He told us if I was dilated at all (which I was 1 cm) that even though it was Labor Day the coming Monday, and they weren't supposed to schedule inductions on a holiday, he would be on call and I was to come in that very morning and tell them my water broke. It was sneaky, it was sly, it was going to get you out and I loved it!
Monday morning, September 1st 2008, Labor Day. After a sleepless night and your dad's "last night of good sleep." We went to the hospital and everything went as planned we were there by 7:45 in a room by 8 and in labor with an epidural by 9:30. The nurses were great until I found out (a little too late) my epidural was in fact not working. While I was pushing and crying (due to the pain.) The nurse looked at me and said "Whitney, why exactly are you crying?" This lady had managed to drop herself from the very top of my Christmas list to almost losing her front two teeth by whoever could get to her first between Stuart and I. So after hours of labor you made your debut at 6:52 pm, beautiful and perfect.
Your hair was jet black and your lips pouty and red. You were 6lbs 3oz and were 19in long. You were the only baby on the whole floor for a day or two and the nurses said you were so good and hardly cried. (You would wait until we arrived home to try out your vocal chords.) After you were rushed to the nursery, cleaned off, and all the test ran that needed to be ran, you were brought to our room around midnight and the second they brought you in I began to cry, it was like the wind was knocked out of me. I guess you could say you took my breath away. To me it was the very second I became your mother and you my son and us a family.
I would only have this feeling one more time and that came when we pulled up to our house, my breath was taken and my lip quivered. Here you were... home. The home you would grow, play and be loved in. The home where the days would seem endelss but somehow fly by, to your day... your First Birthday.
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