Another One Bites the Dust: And How To Get Over It

Considering I've been married for 2 plus years I might not be the one you would expect to give relationship advice well dating advice, but seeing as though I somehow made it though college also known as the hell that is trying to find the "one" and feeling as if time is running out even though you are 22, there was a time I needed to take my OWN advice, this post is acting as the self-help guide I used myself, and maybe it will help some loved ones when going through a rough break-up. The following is a step-by-step guide to getting over your ex and how to get on with your life:

1. Breaking News: we make ourselves WAY too accessible. How, do you ask? I shall count the ways... We now have the following ways of scaring off a guy: e-mailing, texting, stalking, drive-bys, FB messaging, calling, coming on too strong, etc. Here's a tip to counteract these atrocities from happening:




Fall off the face of the earth! (Not literally that would hurt and I believe a man by the name of Columbus once proved it to be impossible.) So the easiest way to do this is to block his calls, don't EVER go somewhere where you could possibly have access to a drink or two and "accidentally sit on your phone wrong which in turn accidentally dialed his number." We referred to this as drunk dialing in college and it is so not cool, don't get on Facebook PERIOD facebook is the DEVIL, SATAN, BEELZEBUB while going through a break up. Be a mystery to him. Do NOT call him. Even if you think you want him to catch you out, find yourself a hiding place but don’t hide in a room. Go out, hide right in front of the exes face without him ever knowing. Don’t worry, his friends might see you, and they will be sure to let him know you were there but by the time he looks…like a thief in the night, you are gone!.

2. Delete anything from your history with him. Pictures, gifts, clothing, whatever. How will you possibly move on when you have a constant reminder of him smacking you in your face every time you get up out of bed to get more tissues? Never underestimate the power of lighter fluid and fire when cleansing one’s memory. Please no burning of the actual ex or any property valued over $50. Bad exes and fire are no reason to win jail time for arson.

3. My favorite and what I feel is the most important, make an "over it" CD. In fact my friend Rachel took this idea in college and ran with it, she used the same title but I believe by the time she graduated she was up to volume 6. Anyway I digress what is an "over it" CD you ask? I will tell you. It is a CD that empowers you and maybe even makes you shed a tear over the loser who hurt you. I have had a few in the past that were basically made up of guy bashing, anger provoking (bc in this situation anger is your friend, as long as it is not acted upon.) music. I'm sure you're asking yourself: what you should put on this CD, and lucky for you, I've made a recent one for my sister (who is doing AWESOME by the way through this whole thing, may I add.) and I recommend the following: *

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1. You’re A Jerk (a new rap song)(I just liked the title mainly)

2. K.Clarkson- Since you’ve been gone

3. Beyonce- Irreplacable

4. D.Chicks- Long Way Around (youtube it it’s so good)

5. B. Spears- Womanizer (could NOT leave that one out)

6. C.Simon- You’re so vein (CLASSIC)

7. C.Crows- You can’t count on me (youtube it PERFECT lyrics)

8. P.Simon- 50 ways to leave your lover (haha I HAD to)(Comic relief at the least... get off the bus Guss)

9. P.Collins- In the air tonight (mainly bc it says if I knew you were drowning I would not lend a hand, and he wrote it about his ex so it seemed fitting)

10. D.Chicks- Not ready to Make Nice (Loves it)

11. O.Republic- Apologize (Cliché maybe and teeny bopperish but very good lyrics and plus I like it)

12. E.Clapton- Promises (starts with "I don’t care if you ever come home bc I don’t love you and you don’t love me and then something about being fine and then it says bc I don’t like your friends and you don’t like mine. Bc that was very true in the last situation) anyway great song 13. T. Swift- Just another picture to burn

14. T.Swift- Cold as you (oh man I was iffy about it thought it would make her sad however the lyrics are RIGHT on with their relationship so at the least she can cry it out to this song, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH I LOVE IT and I love Taylor)

15. Rhianna- Take A Bow

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DISCLAIMER: Neither myself or this website will be held responsible for whatever emotions incur after listening to the songs listed above. I made myself a copy and listened to it this morning and let me tell you it took from home to work to get me over Zach, I mean what did I ever see in him??? SEE! How effective some powerful lyrics can be?

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4. Give yourself time to heal.. a few days.. but then get out and get on with your life. Stay busy and keep your mind off of jerkface, whomever he may be at the time. Everyday you wake up it will be easier, ALL wounds heal! (Except maybe those that require metal plates and screws you hear about and those are ruff I'm sure, but still THEY HEAL) Don't forget if they managed to get Humpty Dumpty's fat A** back together then SERIOUSLY get up, fix your mascara, put your skinny jeans on (I prefer my Seven for all mankind) but each to his own, and PUT YOURSELF BACK TOGETHER!

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5. ONLY If necessary, go talk to a therapist. I never did during situations as such but I do realize some don't bounce back as easy and plus your friends and family can only take so much sulking. (Unless it's a sister and as exhausting as it is, they will continue to pump you up as long as it deems necessary) Plus, getting to talk about yourself for an hour can always be fun.

6. Be your own best friend. Seriously, who is cooler than yourself? No one. At least, I think so. And who doesn't want to date a confident and hot girl? And NOTHING makes a girl hotter than CONFIDENCE!

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7. Realize that you and your ex are NOT getting back together. Stalking, drive-bys, unnecessary texting will only push him further away. And not that I condone even EVER thinking about being friends until at least 2 years have past, but one day you may be friends and also, remember to NEVER burn bridges because honey he may have some hot friends on the other side of his bridge and as my sister Andrea said guys don't think TWICE about screwing each other over, no matter how close they may seem.

To who this blog is dedicated, I cannot WAIT to see what is in store for you.
Love
Whit