Lamp Post Front Page News

Stuart Lamp with USA Cycling has hired a new up and coming employee, actually he will become more of a Union for the company and a spokesperson for Stuart. Any complaints will now be directed straight to Mr. Jack Avery Lamp. We are excited about the addition of a Union to USA Cycling. We are hoping Mr. Lamp can adjust quickly and "put out fires" on the work front. We also expect Stuart to be less stressed and frazzled when his wife returns home from work each day.

When asked for a statement from Mr. Jack he replied, "Daaa da, dink?, ancie, and sssssssss" (we were unable to decipher the last comment but it sounded somewhat like a snake, followed by a trail of slobber.)

Welcome Mr. Jack, welcome!

No Flakes Here!

Okay so maybe this post is more of a confession/apology. Here it goes... UGH Stuart, I am sorry I made fun of the shampoo you choose to use and speak so highly of. There, now that that is over I shall explain:

Stuart uses Head and Shoulders, which we have had many dialogues about why he uses it when he doesn't have dandruff, and how blah the bottle makes our shower look, yadda yadda. OH also, I MUST add he doesn't even use the normal Head and Shoulders. He uses the ICKY 2 in 1 shampoo + conditioner.

Ever since I have been buying shampoo I have always heard how HORRIBLE it is for your hair, and plus how greasy it can make it. And this fact is in at least ONE beauty magazine a month, I swear. It's like a known fact and probably in our history books in high school, but I can't confirm that because I wasn't much of the studying type. Anyway, you get it... it is bad, bad, BAAAAAD for your hair!

One thing about me, which is the same thing my mom hates about me. Is I like options, I mean I can't have my hair smelling the same everyday, I would get even more bored because well folks when you work in a cube some days smelling your hair can be thrilling! So in order to fulfil those self made demands I happen to have more than one... well more than two actually (this IS a confession so I must be honest here.) different bottles and brands of shampoo with the matching conditioner because it would be a beauty SIN to use one brand of shampoo with a different brand of conditioner and I just don't think I could live with myself, once I decide on a scent I go all the way, there is no mixing and matching of scents here.

Anyway on to the confession, one day I realized I was a little bored with my options, so yes I did it! I used the ICKY Head and Shoulders 2 in 1 shampoo + conditioner and here is my report:

I have now used it a total of 3 times and I can report EVERY TIME I've used it I have had the BEST hair days EVER, I'm talking the great hair you get only when you're pregnant. The same hair by the way, that takes 4 MONTHS to fall out in annoying globs. Also, I cannot STOP smelling my hair it smells WONDERFUL. Plus, another upside as bad as I hate to admit this TECHNICALLY you ARE using the coinciding conditioner to the shampoo so there is no mixing of scents.

So yes I used Stuarts Head and Shoulders 2 in 1 shampoo + conditioner that he uses even though he doesn't have dandruff, the same shampoo I made fun of him for and yes I enjoy it, not enough to use everyday but I did enjoy it. And HEY at least I know for sure I don't have flakes now.

Another One Bites the Dust: And How To Get Over It

Considering I've been married for 2 plus years I might not be the one you would expect to give relationship advice well dating advice, but seeing as though I somehow made it though college also known as the hell that is trying to find the "one" and feeling as if time is running out even though you are 22, there was a time I needed to take my OWN advice, this post is acting as the self-help guide I used myself, and maybe it will help some loved ones when going through a rough break-up. The following is a step-by-step guide to getting over your ex and how to get on with your life:

1. Breaking News: we make ourselves WAY too accessible. How, do you ask? I shall count the ways... We now have the following ways of scaring off a guy: e-mailing, texting, stalking, drive-bys, FB messaging, calling, coming on too strong, etc. Here's a tip to counteract these atrocities from happening:




Fall off the face of the earth! (Not literally that would hurt and I believe a man by the name of Columbus once proved it to be impossible.) So the easiest way to do this is to block his calls, don't EVER go somewhere where you could possibly have access to a drink or two and "accidentally sit on your phone wrong which in turn accidentally dialed his number." We referred to this as drunk dialing in college and it is so not cool, don't get on Facebook PERIOD facebook is the DEVIL, SATAN, BEELZEBUB while going through a break up. Be a mystery to him. Do NOT call him. Even if you think you want him to catch you out, find yourself a hiding place but don’t hide in a room. Go out, hide right in front of the exes face without him ever knowing. Don’t worry, his friends might see you, and they will be sure to let him know you were there but by the time he looks…like a thief in the night, you are gone!.

2. Delete anything from your history with him. Pictures, gifts, clothing, whatever. How will you possibly move on when you have a constant reminder of him smacking you in your face every time you get up out of bed to get more tissues? Never underestimate the power of lighter fluid and fire when cleansing one’s memory. Please no burning of the actual ex or any property valued over $50. Bad exes and fire are no reason to win jail time for arson.

3. My favorite and what I feel is the most important, make an "over it" CD. In fact my friend Rachel took this idea in college and ran with it, she used the same title but I believe by the time she graduated she was up to volume 6. Anyway I digress what is an "over it" CD you ask? I will tell you. It is a CD that empowers you and maybe even makes you shed a tear over the loser who hurt you. I have had a few in the past that were basically made up of guy bashing, anger provoking (bc in this situation anger is your friend, as long as it is not acted upon.) music. I'm sure you're asking yourself: what you should put on this CD, and lucky for you, I've made a recent one for my sister (who is doing AWESOME by the way through this whole thing, may I add.) and I recommend the following: *

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1. You’re A Jerk (a new rap song)(I just liked the title mainly)

2. K.Clarkson- Since you’ve been gone

3. Beyonce- Irreplacable

4. D.Chicks- Long Way Around (youtube it it’s so good)

5. B. Spears- Womanizer (could NOT leave that one out)

6. C.Simon- You’re so vein (CLASSIC)

7. C.Crows- You can’t count on me (youtube it PERFECT lyrics)

8. P.Simon- 50 ways to leave your lover (haha I HAD to)(Comic relief at the least... get off the bus Guss)

9. P.Collins- In the air tonight (mainly bc it says if I knew you were drowning I would not lend a hand, and he wrote it about his ex so it seemed fitting)

10. D.Chicks- Not ready to Make Nice (Loves it)

11. O.Republic- Apologize (Cliché maybe and teeny bopperish but very good lyrics and plus I like it)

12. E.Clapton- Promises (starts with "I don’t care if you ever come home bc I don’t love you and you don’t love me and then something about being fine and then it says bc I don’t like your friends and you don’t like mine. Bc that was very true in the last situation) anyway great song 13. T. Swift- Just another picture to burn

14. T.Swift- Cold as you (oh man I was iffy about it thought it would make her sad however the lyrics are RIGHT on with their relationship so at the least she can cry it out to this song, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH I LOVE IT and I love Taylor)

15. Rhianna- Take A Bow

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DISCLAIMER: Neither myself or this website will be held responsible for whatever emotions incur after listening to the songs listed above. I made myself a copy and listened to it this morning and let me tell you it took from home to work to get me over Zach, I mean what did I ever see in him??? SEE! How effective some powerful lyrics can be?

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4. Give yourself time to heal.. a few days.. but then get out and get on with your life. Stay busy and keep your mind off of jerkface, whomever he may be at the time. Everyday you wake up it will be easier, ALL wounds heal! (Except maybe those that require metal plates and screws you hear about and those are ruff I'm sure, but still THEY HEAL) Don't forget if they managed to get Humpty Dumpty's fat A** back together then SERIOUSLY get up, fix your mascara, put your skinny jeans on (I prefer my Seven for all mankind) but each to his own, and PUT YOURSELF BACK TOGETHER!

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5. ONLY If necessary, go talk to a therapist. I never did during situations as such but I do realize some don't bounce back as easy and plus your friends and family can only take so much sulking. (Unless it's a sister and as exhausting as it is, they will continue to pump you up as long as it deems necessary) Plus, getting to talk about yourself for an hour can always be fun.

6. Be your own best friend. Seriously, who is cooler than yourself? No one. At least, I think so. And who doesn't want to date a confident and hot girl? And NOTHING makes a girl hotter than CONFIDENCE!

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7. Realize that you and your ex are NOT getting back together. Stalking, drive-bys, unnecessary texting will only push him further away. And not that I condone even EVER thinking about being friends until at least 2 years have past, but one day you may be friends and also, remember to NEVER burn bridges because honey he may have some hot friends on the other side of his bridge and as my sister Andrea said guys don't think TWICE about screwing each other over, no matter how close they may seem.

To who this blog is dedicated, I cannot WAIT to see what is in store for you.
Love
Whit

One Small Step for Jack, Another Moment Missed for Stuart

Stuart is out of town this whole week on business until Sunday and it just so happens that he is the one who gets up with Jack at night {seeing as we have an 11 month old who STILL will not sleep through the night... any suggestions would be appreciated!} anyway, he started his nightly ritual because when I was breast feeding I was too exhausted to get up with Jack every night and after my wonderful mom who stayed and helped us for weeks and weeks left Stuart, being the great husband he is told me that could be his full time duty, plus he works from home so it’s not like he had to wake up and get ready for work, he could work in his pj's. ANYWAY, so when Stuart told me he would be gone for a week at the beginning of August I was a little nervous, that maybe I wouldn’t hear him since my mommy radar typically doesn’t work anymore at night because, well... that is Stuarts' job.

So I would like to report the past 2 nights I have heard not one peep from the little man, he sleeps from 8pm until I wake him up at about 6:30am. I called Stuart this morning to gloat… (I mean give him the nightly report) and he is so jealous it’s not funny. I think it is hilarious because Jack wakes up sometimes up to every 45 minutes when Stuart is home and Stuart never fails to produce mad tossing back of the sheets and followed by some explicit language on occasion.

UPDATE: Night 3 did not go as well, but it's just a minor derailing from our stellar sleeping streak.

But ALSO, and the most exciting report of this post... well let me begin with the last time Stuart went out of town on business, Jack decided to start crawling. By the time Stuart got home Jack was crawling so much he crawled straight to the door to meet him. I told him I had been working ALL week long non stop with him and of course he was a little jealous that he missed it. But hey I missed him rolling over for the first time, which he decided to do while I was at work one day, but that's beside the point there is no competition here, but if there was I would be winning (Mwahahaha... (evil laugh) )

WELL… THIS trip Jack decided to start walking! He takes a few steps and gets so excited he flails his arms, like his mom at a sale at Anthropologie, which then makes him fall down. So if I could just get him to keep his composure over his major feat he will be walking to meet Stuart when he comes home Sunday. (Or actually hopefully not because Stuart won't be home until 1 am and THAT would break our good sleeping streak.) But theoretically if he were coming home at a decent hour THEN Jack would be walking to him.

I thought it was pretty funny that every time Stuart is gone Jack, for one, sleeps through the night but also that he tends to reach upcoming milestones. Hmmm, maybe I should kick Stuart out more often, I may have Jack doing quantum physics by his birthday.

Here it is... my proof!

I Did It My Way!

For Jack there is only one way to make an entrance into the den, and that is over... or, i guess under... maybe  I should just use the word through 

THIS end table...

Here is proof: with a little extra footage of Jack with his new oversized racecar.

This is his route EVERY time he enters that side of the den.

GOT to love little boys, they are so adventurous!

First Haircut

Today was a very special day, it was Jack's first haircut. We went to Millidines in Madison where I get my hair done and Anna was so good with him. I came armed with cookies, juice, books, toys and a sucker. The sucker was an obvious choice because, really,  how many pictures of "first haircuts" have you seen WITHOUT a sucker. I figured they had to be on to something.

Jack is 10 months 3 weeks and as you can tell was in much need of a new do... 

he was so sleepy...

This picture is right side up, he was completley bent over, which turned out to be a good angle for Anna...

Finished product...

Concert in the park

Monday Stuart, Jack and I went to the concert in the park down by the river. Jack had a blast. Of course we took the "danger cart" and it was a huge hit we had so many comments on it.



When Stuart told me that there were concerts in the park on Mondays I have to admit I had my doubts. (He really meant the people from the assisted living homes hop in their rascals and head over to listen to a few guys pick at their guitars) (the same guys, in fact that could also be found in your local bar on any given Saturday, a group with a name derived from a bad movie)



I started getting curious when we had to park a mile away (lucky for Stuart it was not hot, or Lord have mercy upon his soul.) Then when we finally got to the park there were probably 100 plus people there, and yes the old folks DID migrate over from the assisted living homes, but there were young, old and very very old (guy in the rented rascal who tried to talk to Jack through the hole in his neck, Oh and who was also chain smoking cigars.)



Blankets, chairs, kids running around, babies, strollers, coolers, and lots of clapping to the beat were to be seen. A group of guys (with a bad movie name, that escapes me now.) were just picking away producing some really great bluegrass music, so good in fact Jack decided he would get down and boogie for the first time (see video at the bottom of the post.) Sorry for it being sideways I was unable to rotate it. But if you turn your head it looks straight up and down :)





He looks like woody woodpecker here, this was on our mile walk to the park from the car.



This was the band (with the bad name that escapes me.)

The crowd... I blame the zoom on my camera for this one the crowd REALLY was quite large, but this was taken from pretty far away too.

He giggled and blabbered the whole time, not sure if it was the actual event and all the sights because he kicked and babbled the whole time through dinner at Chilli's as well. He was in a really good mood yesterday!

He loved to look at the river but when we took him out of the "danger cart" all he wanted to do was climb all over it and was so over looking at the barge and the water after a few seconds.

See, climbing....

See, still eyeing the "danger cart"...

This was him crawling on the grass... to ... the... you guessed it...

NOT being cooperative, at all. He wanted back in the... well you know

Here is the video of Jack getting down with the "danger cart" to the bluegrass in the background, not sure if you can hear it that well but he was going at it...